Chapter Thirteen
Slowly, she stretched and got up. Leisurely she strolled down to the stream and did what had to be done, then came back to look in the pack for breakfast. Nothing there. The pack was as empty as it could be, and not a crumb fell out when she shook it upside down. As the flask was also empty, she sauntered back to the stream, washed it out and refilled it with clear water. For a while she ambled around, putting off the time when she must leave; then it occurred to her that she could clear away all evidence of her being there. Anything rather than go on just yet.
Finally she took one last look round. She had done a very good job, hiding all the burnt wood from the fire and throwing around all the left over timber or hefting it over the edge, and dismantling the hearth as well as the circle of stones around the fire. She had even gathered the remnants of the dried moss and stuffed it into the pack, where it felt soft and comfortable against her back. She went and sat by the big rock where the women had murmured songs of comfort, and shut her eyes. Nothing was to be heard but the gentle sighing of a small breeze in the grasses near the cliff edge. Somehow the place felt desolate now, Although she was reluctant to meet the next adventure, she also didn't want to stay any longer: it was definitely time to go. Standing up, she gave the stone one last pat, took a deep breath, turned and walked away, heading towards the only path up the mountain, the one she had already taken two long days earlier.
She remembered the dragon. This gave her a sick feeling in her stomach, but nonetheless she decided to go on. The fact that she'd not come to any harm so far, even when she'd rebelled against her instructions, reassured her somewhat; and she was doing it for Grace, so it had to be worth it, didn't it? Anyway, Barnaby had said he'd meet her on the other side.
When she got to the cleft in the rock, she went right in and up clambered up to the small ledge with the gap at the back of it. Snake was not around. She took off her pack, thrust it into the hole and scrambled up after it, pushing it in front of her for a short way until it fell. The little tunnel she had been in had opened out as abruptly as it had started, with a small drop to a level patch of stone.
Standing up after a brief and uncomfortable struggle, Jay found herself at the edge of an immense, dimly lit cavern whose far wall she could barely make out. Awestruck, she gazed around her and up in wonder at the ceiling. It seemed so far away that it looked like a vast and glorious night sky, which glowed dimly with a strange murky green light and was unevenly studded with sparkling colours of many different shapes and sizes. Stretching away to her left were strange, long milky white shapes hanging from the ceiling; roughly conical shapes rose from the floor of the cavern to meet them. In places they had merged to form the most fantastic contortions. To her right a wide path sank in a slow arc towards the floor, which on this side was a long way below. At the bottom was an enormous, unevenly rounded green boulder which filled a large part of the floor of the cave and whose topmost curve was several metres below eye level.
As Jay stepped onto the path, the boulder moved. Slowly it heaved up a great hoop of a scaly neck, then a bony head swung round and rose until it was on a level with Jay's own. Each of the two huge black eyes was as large as Jay's head, one each side of a long, long scaly muzzle with gaping nostrils.
It was the dragon.
Jay stood transfixed as it gazed at her. She got quickly past fear and into trembling terror. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide away. Cold sweat trickled down under her arms. Then her knees collapsed slowly beneath her, leaving her kneeling on all fours on the path, her arms in front of her trying weakly to support her shaking body. She squeezed her eyes tighly shut so that she wouldn't have to watch the unfolding of this awesome creature. Random thoughts came and went, with blank terror between them:
the smell of white bread, toasted
why did the...?
a cartoon deer, in mid-bound
Eventually her scattered wits came up with a series of coherent thoughts: “I'm not dead. Yet. It probably won't make any difference if I open my eyes. Either I'm going to die or I'm not, and there's nothing I can do about it.”
With a shudder, she slowly raised her head and opened her eyes. The dragon's head was a little further away, but the enormous black eyes were still looking at her. Under its dispassionate gaze Jay felt insignificant, small, of no account, and without warning her emotions flipped over from fear to fury. To her lasting astonishment she found herself leaping to her feet, screaming insults at the dragon, taunting it, blaming it for everything that had ever happened to her, running up and down the ledge and waving her arms.
If you're not burnt to a cinder, how do you know when a dragon is laughing at you? The laugh was huge and silent, which increased Jay's rage so that she was jumping up and down, yelling incoherently with tears streaming down her cheeks. Eventually, as the dragon's laughter became a deep audible chuckle, the absurdity of her situation began slowly to dawn on her. A fly yelling at a hippopotamus would have been no less ridiculous, and she had been seriously stupid, never mind rude.
She forced herself to sober up out of her hysterics and stood squarely facing the huge creature.
“I'm sorry,” she whispered, her throat hoarse with yelling. She tried to speak a little louder, and managed:
“I mean, I beg your pardon, that was very rude of me. My name is Jay, and I'm not quite sure why I'm here. Everybody I've met since I arrived here has been telling me that I was coming to see you, but I don't think I really believed them.” She paused, not sure what to say or do next.
Slowly, slowly, the dragon moved its head closer to where Jay was standing until its jaw lay along the stone shelf not far from her. Jay stood her ground. The top of its forehead towered above her so that their eyes were almost at the same level. Its breath was warm and smelled, not exactly unpleasantly, of sulphur mixed with - of all things - coconut.
“My dear, I apologise for being so terrifying to you. You need have no fear of me. I am not angry that you have come to my home. I welcome you. Unfortunately I can offer nothing that you could eat or drink. Yet the advice you have received was correct. We have business together, you and I.”
There was an expectant pause. Although still shaking with the dregs of her emotional outburst, Jay noticed that the dragon's way of talking was even more pompous than that of the Bear, which had the unexpected effect of calming her a little.
The dragon was obviously waiting for her to respond.
“I'm not sure I understand,” she faltered. “What business? I haven't got anything except this pack. And it isn't even mine, really.”
“You have been given a great opportunity,” pronounced the great beast. “You, a child from another world, have come to this place where many things may be transformed, where gifts may be given that can shape the way in which you mature in your own world. But there is always a price, and it must be freely given. In exchange for the gift I will give you, I need a promise, an undertaking.”
“A promise? How will I remember, when I get back?”
“Once you have made the promise, it will bind you without the necessity for you to keep it in mind. You were born with a gift which you must develop in order to progress. It will involve much hard work, and much heartbreak before the work can begin. Doors will open for you which you will pass through. The ability to access the world in which you now stand may be granted you, and you will find the ability to ease the suffering of others; but first you must train.”
“I'm afraid I don't understand a word of this. Please will you explain? And what is the gift you're going to give me?”
“All will become clear as you live your life. You are still a hatchling. But here is the gift.”
The dragon's head disappeared below the ledge, and reappeared with what looked very like an extremely large egg, which was placed gently next to Jay.
“Take this talisman home to your world and treat it with care. You may not recognise it when you awake, but you must keep it near your sleeping place. Now may I have your promise?”
“Oh, yes! Thank you! Yes, of course I'll promise! This is to help my sister get better, isn't it?”
She struggled unsuccessfully to pick up the egg, hugging it to her.
“No,” said the dragon sadly. “This talisman is for you, to help you through the bitter days ahead. There is nothing that can be done in your world for your sister: she is already approaching the spirit realm where she will be whole again. Your task is harder than hers, for you will have to face your own loss as well as the anguish of those closest to you. Their grieving will be as hard as yours.”
Appalled and frightened now in a totally different way, Jay asked: “Do you mean that Grace...” she gulped a couple of times before she could go on in a very small and trembly voice, “...do you mean that she... that she's going to... to die?”
“Everything that lives, dies. Jay dear, this is the great mystery of life, the heart of the secret. Some call it the Great Wheel. Your sister is dying, yes, in your terms, and you will never see her in the same way again. She is nearly across the great divide as we speak. When you return to your own world, you will see the empty shell she leaves behind her. But a shell is all she has left behind, for the body is only a temporary home for the spirit. You know this truly for yourself, separated as you are from your own body.”
Jay felt as though great hands were holding the back of her head and squeezing firmly; her neck felt rigid.
“You must breathe deeply,” said the dragon, after a pause. “You know your body is still warm and waiting for you, and when you go back to your own world you will have the talisman to help you. Although there is another choice open to you. You could choose to stay in this world and die to your own. Either way, there are consequences.”
By this time, Jay was cold and trembling deep inside herself again, her shoulders tight and twitching, her face awash with tears. She was barely able to take in the dragon's last speech. When she finally spoke, her voice came out as a squeak; and what she heard herself say was not at all what she had intended.
“I'd like to go home,” said Jay.
Slowly, she stretched and got up. Leisurely she strolled down to the stream and did what had to be done, then came back to look in the pack for breakfast. Nothing there. The pack was as empty as it could be, and not a crumb fell out when she shook it upside down. As the flask was also empty, she sauntered back to the stream, washed it out and refilled it with clear water. For a while she ambled around, putting off the time when she must leave; then it occurred to her that she could clear away all evidence of her being there. Anything rather than go on just yet.
Finally she took one last look round. She had done a very good job, hiding all the burnt wood from the fire and throwing around all the left over timber or hefting it over the edge, and dismantling the hearth as well as the circle of stones around the fire. She had even gathered the remnants of the dried moss and stuffed it into the pack, where it felt soft and comfortable against her back. She went and sat by the big rock where the women had murmured songs of comfort, and shut her eyes. Nothing was to be heard but the gentle sighing of a small breeze in the grasses near the cliff edge. Somehow the place felt desolate now, Although she was reluctant to meet the next adventure, she also didn't want to stay any longer: it was definitely time to go. Standing up, she gave the stone one last pat, took a deep breath, turned and walked away, heading towards the only path up the mountain, the one she had already taken two long days earlier.
She remembered the dragon. This gave her a sick feeling in her stomach, but nonetheless she decided to go on. The fact that she'd not come to any harm so far, even when she'd rebelled against her instructions, reassured her somewhat; and she was doing it for Grace, so it had to be worth it, didn't it? Anyway, Barnaby had said he'd meet her on the other side.
When she got to the cleft in the rock, she went right in and up clambered up to the small ledge with the gap at the back of it. Snake was not around. She took off her pack, thrust it into the hole and scrambled up after it, pushing it in front of her for a short way until it fell. The little tunnel she had been in had opened out as abruptly as it had started, with a small drop to a level patch of stone.
Standing up after a brief and uncomfortable struggle, Jay found herself at the edge of an immense, dimly lit cavern whose far wall she could barely make out. Awestruck, she gazed around her and up in wonder at the ceiling. It seemed so far away that it looked like a vast and glorious night sky, which glowed dimly with a strange murky green light and was unevenly studded with sparkling colours of many different shapes and sizes. Stretching away to her left were strange, long milky white shapes hanging from the ceiling; roughly conical shapes rose from the floor of the cavern to meet them. In places they had merged to form the most fantastic contortions. To her right a wide path sank in a slow arc towards the floor, which on this side was a long way below. At the bottom was an enormous, unevenly rounded green boulder which filled a large part of the floor of the cave and whose topmost curve was several metres below eye level.
As Jay stepped onto the path, the boulder moved. Slowly it heaved up a great hoop of a scaly neck, then a bony head swung round and rose until it was on a level with Jay's own. Each of the two huge black eyes was as large as Jay's head, one each side of a long, long scaly muzzle with gaping nostrils.
It was the dragon.
Jay stood transfixed as it gazed at her. She got quickly past fear and into trembling terror. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide away. Cold sweat trickled down under her arms. Then her knees collapsed slowly beneath her, leaving her kneeling on all fours on the path, her arms in front of her trying weakly to support her shaking body. She squeezed her eyes tighly shut so that she wouldn't have to watch the unfolding of this awesome creature. Random thoughts came and went, with blank terror between them:
the smell of white bread, toasted
why did the...?
a cartoon deer, in mid-bound
Eventually her scattered wits came up with a series of coherent thoughts: “I'm not dead. Yet. It probably won't make any difference if I open my eyes. Either I'm going to die or I'm not, and there's nothing I can do about it.”
With a shudder, she slowly raised her head and opened her eyes. The dragon's head was a little further away, but the enormous black eyes were still looking at her. Under its dispassionate gaze Jay felt insignificant, small, of no account, and without warning her emotions flipped over from fear to fury. To her lasting astonishment she found herself leaping to her feet, screaming insults at the dragon, taunting it, blaming it for everything that had ever happened to her, running up and down the ledge and waving her arms.
If you're not burnt to a cinder, how do you know when a dragon is laughing at you? The laugh was huge and silent, which increased Jay's rage so that she was jumping up and down, yelling incoherently with tears streaming down her cheeks. Eventually, as the dragon's laughter became a deep audible chuckle, the absurdity of her situation began slowly to dawn on her. A fly yelling at a hippopotamus would have been no less ridiculous, and she had been seriously stupid, never mind rude.
She forced herself to sober up out of her hysterics and stood squarely facing the huge creature.
“I'm sorry,” she whispered, her throat hoarse with yelling. She tried to speak a little louder, and managed:
“I mean, I beg your pardon, that was very rude of me. My name is Jay, and I'm not quite sure why I'm here. Everybody I've met since I arrived here has been telling me that I was coming to see you, but I don't think I really believed them.” She paused, not sure what to say or do next.
Slowly, slowly, the dragon moved its head closer to where Jay was standing until its jaw lay along the stone shelf not far from her. Jay stood her ground. The top of its forehead towered above her so that their eyes were almost at the same level. Its breath was warm and smelled, not exactly unpleasantly, of sulphur mixed with - of all things - coconut.
“My dear, I apologise for being so terrifying to you. You need have no fear of me. I am not angry that you have come to my home. I welcome you. Unfortunately I can offer nothing that you could eat or drink. Yet the advice you have received was correct. We have business together, you and I.”
There was an expectant pause. Although still shaking with the dregs of her emotional outburst, Jay noticed that the dragon's way of talking was even more pompous than that of the Bear, which had the unexpected effect of calming her a little.
The dragon was obviously waiting for her to respond.
“I'm not sure I understand,” she faltered. “What business? I haven't got anything except this pack. And it isn't even mine, really.”
“You have been given a great opportunity,” pronounced the great beast. “You, a child from another world, have come to this place where many things may be transformed, where gifts may be given that can shape the way in which you mature in your own world. But there is always a price, and it must be freely given. In exchange for the gift I will give you, I need a promise, an undertaking.”
“A promise? How will I remember, when I get back?”
“Once you have made the promise, it will bind you without the necessity for you to keep it in mind. You were born with a gift which you must develop in order to progress. It will involve much hard work, and much heartbreak before the work can begin. Doors will open for you which you will pass through. The ability to access the world in which you now stand may be granted you, and you will find the ability to ease the suffering of others; but first you must train.”
“I'm afraid I don't understand a word of this. Please will you explain? And what is the gift you're going to give me?”
“All will become clear as you live your life. You are still a hatchling. But here is the gift.”
The dragon's head disappeared below the ledge, and reappeared with what looked very like an extremely large egg, which was placed gently next to Jay.
“Take this talisman home to your world and treat it with care. You may not recognise it when you awake, but you must keep it near your sleeping place. Now may I have your promise?”
“Oh, yes! Thank you! Yes, of course I'll promise! This is to help my sister get better, isn't it?”
She struggled unsuccessfully to pick up the egg, hugging it to her.
“No,” said the dragon sadly. “This talisman is for you, to help you through the bitter days ahead. There is nothing that can be done in your world for your sister: she is already approaching the spirit realm where she will be whole again. Your task is harder than hers, for you will have to face your own loss as well as the anguish of those closest to you. Their grieving will be as hard as yours.”
Appalled and frightened now in a totally different way, Jay asked: “Do you mean that Grace...” she gulped a couple of times before she could go on in a very small and trembly voice, “...do you mean that she... that she's going to... to die?”
“Everything that lives, dies. Jay dear, this is the great mystery of life, the heart of the secret. Some call it the Great Wheel. Your sister is dying, yes, in your terms, and you will never see her in the same way again. She is nearly across the great divide as we speak. When you return to your own world, you will see the empty shell she leaves behind her. But a shell is all she has left behind, for the body is only a temporary home for the spirit. You know this truly for yourself, separated as you are from your own body.”
Jay felt as though great hands were holding the back of her head and squeezing firmly; her neck felt rigid.
“You must breathe deeply,” said the dragon, after a pause. “You know your body is still warm and waiting for you, and when you go back to your own world you will have the talisman to help you. Although there is another choice open to you. You could choose to stay in this world and die to your own. Either way, there are consequences.”
By this time, Jay was cold and trembling deep inside herself again, her shoulders tight and twitching, her face awash with tears. She was barely able to take in the dragon's last speech. When she finally spoke, her voice came out as a squeak; and what she heard herself say was not at all what she had intended.
“I'd like to go home,” said Jay.