Chapter One
“Don't speak to anyone at all!” Jay's mother had said, “and don't move from your seat for any reason. Well, except for getting off to change trains, of course - and for the obvious, if you really have to.”
“Goodbye mum. I'll be careful. I'll be fine!” said Jay as she leaned through the open window to say goodbye. Well, she thought, it wasn't quite a promise, but it seemed to satisfy her anxious mother.
The train pulled away from the platform, and Jay furtively wiped a tear from her face. She sniffed, a touch annoyed with herself for crying even a little, and went to find her seat. She was surprised to be actually relieved, and found that she was even a touch excited at the prospect of her first long train journey on her own.
The excitement and novelty soon wore off. Without her sister Grace or any familiar adult to distract her from the tedium, the train journey seemed interminable. She had a small table to herself in a first class carriage because her mother said it would be safer, but there was nothing to interest her. There were only three other people in sight: a businessman who was obviously using the train as an extension of his office, and a young couple who were totally engrossed in each other. “Grossly engrossed,” thought Jay at the beginning of the journey, and soon stopped watching them. She and her mum had planned it all so carefully, like a battle campaign, with things to do all the way, and an aunt to meet her at the only change she had to make, but nothing was much fun. Long before she had to change trains, she had got tired of reading or looking out of the window at towns and at countryside which meant nothing to her. It all went by too fast, in any case.
The only thing to give her a thrill of excitement was the sight of the hills towards the end of the first lap of the journey: she knew that soon she would be on the little local train which would amble through the mountains and out the other side, through the marshes of the Dyfi estuary, past the dunes, along to the strange little station in the village which clung to the sea's edge like a long string of seaweed. She sat obediently in her seat, biting her nails and trying not to think about Grace. By the time she arrived at her interchange station she was almost too bored to grab her luggage and get off the train.
The platform was more crowded than usual with strangers, pushing past her rudely, milling around trying to get on the train she'd just left or rushing off to who knew where. Jay just stood, clinging on to her wheeled suitcase: she'd been promised that her aunt Gwen would find her.
She hadn't been waiting very long before she saw her aunt, and gave an inner groan of dismay. Aunt Gwen was very tall, and had always been on the embarrassing side of unconventional. Today she'd surpassed herself by wearing a bright orange beret topping a multi-coloured poncho and a fringed indigo scarf, both of which flopped shapelessly round her as she strode through the crowds, a huge smile on her face.
“Oh there you are, my dear little Gaynor!” she gushed. Jay gave as good a smile as she could muster, although she was speechless with mortification as Gwen bent over to give her a peck on the cheek. This was even worse than the snogging couple!
“How brave of you to do all this on your own, I know I couldn't have, at your age. But we've got to be quick: there isn't a lot of time to make the connection. That train you came on is always late! There's the little train, look, down the end there. Let me take your bag.”
Jay clung onto it and shook her head speechlessly. She didn't want to let go, and she didn't feel like trusting her belongings to this weird woman, aunt though she might be. Shrewsbury station was small and uncomplicated, and the only difficulty would be in making sure that she was in the correct portion of the train. Staying in the wrong half would mean a long detour to North Wales, several phone calls and a long wait for a connection to come all the way back. Aunt Gwen made absolutely sure that Jay was in the right carriage by summoning one of the station attendants and engaging them in what Jay regarded as an unnecessarily long explanation of her, Jay's, business.
“Too much fuss!” she thought, as she started to walk as quickly as she could down the carriage to her seat, dragging the heavy case with a sneaking sense of shame at her mean feelings towards the woman who had been nothing but kind, but hoping desperately that nobody had noticed they were together.
During the predictable but unwelcome hug by the doors, but before the inevitable “Goodbye dear,” and “Have a nice journey,” and “Do take care, dear, won't you?” Jay managed to speak. She tried to gush a bit in her turn. Maybe that's what her aunt liked.
“Oh Auntie Gwen, it's so kind of you to come all this way to help me change trains. It's nice to have some help this first time on my own. Thank you so much. Goodbye!” Privately she thought she had done really well to say anything at all.
Not quite soon enough, Jay was sitting on her own again in a carriage very different to the one she'd left. This carriage was worn and obviously elderly and should probably have been retired long ago, but at least there was Welsh on some of the notices and there were mountains to gaze at; and she was truly on her way to her beloved grandparents. This carriage was more populated than the first, mostly with students, and for a short while Jay amused herself by watching them and making up stories in her head about them, like she'd always done with Grace on this journey. Then she used the old game of pretending she was royalty - which would have been easier in a first class carriage - and waving regally as the train stopped at the little stations, or putting her nose in the air and silently passing snooty judgements on the undeserving peasants in the carriage. But it just wasn't the same without her sister, and only served to remind her how ill Grace was; and that this leg of the journey took longer than the last. Bored beyond belief and thoroughly miserable by now, she swallowed hard to get her feelings under control and to summon a little defiance, put her ticket in her small backpack, and set off to explore the little train.
This took less than three minutes at a slow and lurching walk from her carriage to the front, to the rear, and back to her seat. She gazed through the locked window at the country streaming away from her. Then she strolled again to the front, where the view was much the same as that at the back; so she tried sitting in empty seats behind people and listening to their conversations and quarrels until that bored her too. Finally she went back to her seat, repacked all her scattered books, put her head on her arms and tried to sleep.
She dozed.
“We will shortly be arriving at Borth. Borth will be our next station stop” shocked her awake. Borth was where she had to get off! She only just had time to get herself and her stuff off the train before the doors closed.
And there were both her grandparents to meet her! She dropped her bag and rushed into their arms, full of love and relief. Her strange and lonely Easter holiday had begun.
“Goodbye mum. I'll be careful. I'll be fine!” said Jay as she leaned through the open window to say goodbye. Well, she thought, it wasn't quite a promise, but it seemed to satisfy her anxious mother.
The train pulled away from the platform, and Jay furtively wiped a tear from her face. She sniffed, a touch annoyed with herself for crying even a little, and went to find her seat. She was surprised to be actually relieved, and found that she was even a touch excited at the prospect of her first long train journey on her own.
The excitement and novelty soon wore off. Without her sister Grace or any familiar adult to distract her from the tedium, the train journey seemed interminable. She had a small table to herself in a first class carriage because her mother said it would be safer, but there was nothing to interest her. There were only three other people in sight: a businessman who was obviously using the train as an extension of his office, and a young couple who were totally engrossed in each other. “Grossly engrossed,” thought Jay at the beginning of the journey, and soon stopped watching them. She and her mum had planned it all so carefully, like a battle campaign, with things to do all the way, and an aunt to meet her at the only change she had to make, but nothing was much fun. Long before she had to change trains, she had got tired of reading or looking out of the window at towns and at countryside which meant nothing to her. It all went by too fast, in any case.
The only thing to give her a thrill of excitement was the sight of the hills towards the end of the first lap of the journey: she knew that soon she would be on the little local train which would amble through the mountains and out the other side, through the marshes of the Dyfi estuary, past the dunes, along to the strange little station in the village which clung to the sea's edge like a long string of seaweed. She sat obediently in her seat, biting her nails and trying not to think about Grace. By the time she arrived at her interchange station she was almost too bored to grab her luggage and get off the train.
The platform was more crowded than usual with strangers, pushing past her rudely, milling around trying to get on the train she'd just left or rushing off to who knew where. Jay just stood, clinging on to her wheeled suitcase: she'd been promised that her aunt Gwen would find her.
She hadn't been waiting very long before she saw her aunt, and gave an inner groan of dismay. Aunt Gwen was very tall, and had always been on the embarrassing side of unconventional. Today she'd surpassed herself by wearing a bright orange beret topping a multi-coloured poncho and a fringed indigo scarf, both of which flopped shapelessly round her as she strode through the crowds, a huge smile on her face.
“Oh there you are, my dear little Gaynor!” she gushed. Jay gave as good a smile as she could muster, although she was speechless with mortification as Gwen bent over to give her a peck on the cheek. This was even worse than the snogging couple!
“How brave of you to do all this on your own, I know I couldn't have, at your age. But we've got to be quick: there isn't a lot of time to make the connection. That train you came on is always late! There's the little train, look, down the end there. Let me take your bag.”
Jay clung onto it and shook her head speechlessly. She didn't want to let go, and she didn't feel like trusting her belongings to this weird woman, aunt though she might be. Shrewsbury station was small and uncomplicated, and the only difficulty would be in making sure that she was in the correct portion of the train. Staying in the wrong half would mean a long detour to North Wales, several phone calls and a long wait for a connection to come all the way back. Aunt Gwen made absolutely sure that Jay was in the right carriage by summoning one of the station attendants and engaging them in what Jay regarded as an unnecessarily long explanation of her, Jay's, business.
“Too much fuss!” she thought, as she started to walk as quickly as she could down the carriage to her seat, dragging the heavy case with a sneaking sense of shame at her mean feelings towards the woman who had been nothing but kind, but hoping desperately that nobody had noticed they were together.
During the predictable but unwelcome hug by the doors, but before the inevitable “Goodbye dear,” and “Have a nice journey,” and “Do take care, dear, won't you?” Jay managed to speak. She tried to gush a bit in her turn. Maybe that's what her aunt liked.
“Oh Auntie Gwen, it's so kind of you to come all this way to help me change trains. It's nice to have some help this first time on my own. Thank you so much. Goodbye!” Privately she thought she had done really well to say anything at all.
Not quite soon enough, Jay was sitting on her own again in a carriage very different to the one she'd left. This carriage was worn and obviously elderly and should probably have been retired long ago, but at least there was Welsh on some of the notices and there were mountains to gaze at; and she was truly on her way to her beloved grandparents. This carriage was more populated than the first, mostly with students, and for a short while Jay amused herself by watching them and making up stories in her head about them, like she'd always done with Grace on this journey. Then she used the old game of pretending she was royalty - which would have been easier in a first class carriage - and waving regally as the train stopped at the little stations, or putting her nose in the air and silently passing snooty judgements on the undeserving peasants in the carriage. But it just wasn't the same without her sister, and only served to remind her how ill Grace was; and that this leg of the journey took longer than the last. Bored beyond belief and thoroughly miserable by now, she swallowed hard to get her feelings under control and to summon a little defiance, put her ticket in her small backpack, and set off to explore the little train.
This took less than three minutes at a slow and lurching walk from her carriage to the front, to the rear, and back to her seat. She gazed through the locked window at the country streaming away from her. Then she strolled again to the front, where the view was much the same as that at the back; so she tried sitting in empty seats behind people and listening to their conversations and quarrels until that bored her too. Finally she went back to her seat, repacked all her scattered books, put her head on her arms and tried to sleep.
She dozed.
“We will shortly be arriving at Borth. Borth will be our next station stop” shocked her awake. Borth was where she had to get off! She only just had time to get herself and her stuff off the train before the doors closed.
And there were both her grandparents to meet her! She dropped her bag and rushed into their arms, full of love and relief. Her strange and lonely Easter holiday had begun.